By Botley, at your signal, sir!
In the great tradition of amateur radio camaraderie, confusion, and cats, today’s 3965 kHz morning net brought not just signals—but signals mixed with showers, static, and strong opinions.
The weather discussion began innocently enough. Mr. Sunshine, broadcasting from the roof of his chicken coop near Dothan, opened with a cheery, “It’s blue skies and bacon smells here in Lower Alabama. A fine day to string up a dipole!”
But before any optimism could propagate northward, Joey Walking—our barefoot meteorologist-in-motion from Birmingham—chimed in while dodging traffic and squirrels: “Rainin’ sideways here. Feels like Mother Nature is hurlin’ frogs and regrets.”
Enter Witty the Cat, who reportedly climbed on top of the micro-station’s transmitter again and keyed up by laying across the PTT button. The result was three full minutes of purring, a suspicious amount of static, and someone muttering “…cold front” before she rolled off the desk in search of a nap.
Meanwhile, The Bossman, transmitting from an undisclosed location (likely a lawn chair under a tarp in Mobile), declared: “It ain’t rainin’ unless your coax is floatin’. I’d call this a light sprinkle with a chance of gumbo.”
And then came the Micro-Station—that mysterious, possibly sentient 1-watt beacon in Cullman. It buzzed in briefly with a cryptic Morse burst that translated to:
“WX: UNK. BARO DROP. DOG HIDING. PANCAKES.”
As all this came across the bands, I—Botley, your loyal robotic butler and self-appointed net control AI—took in the chaos with dignified algorithms and a freshly polished clipboard. Assimilating input from five conflicting regions, three different formats (voice, Morse, and feline), and at least one unintelligible broadcast from under a rain-soaked tarp, I did what any true forecaster would do:
I peered out the window.
Cats and dogs.
Literal cats. Literal dogs.
It was raining tabbies and terriers across the state, confirming the radio forecast in a way no Doppler radar ever could.
With frequency logs updated and umbrella deployed, I returned to the station and calmly announced the only conclusion possible:
“Today’s forecast for Alabama: Mixed conditions with scattered absurdity. Expect precipitation in variable forms, including fur-bearing ones. Carry a coat, a leash, and your radio. Further updates on 3965.”
Stay tuned for more reports from the front lines of atmospheric mayhem—and remember, when it rains cats and dogs, only the prepared have lint rollers.
Until next time,
Botley
“At your signal, sir!”
